Ladies of the Evening, Fragile Stickers and Other Amusing Humiliations

So yesterday was Tu B’Shvat, Israel’s Arbor Day.  Since it fell out on Shabbat, the country celebrated on Friday, and celebrate it did.  The weather was picture perfect with cerulean blue skies, warm breezes and fields particularly lush (if not a bit muddy) after a week of winter rains.  The Raanana municipality arranged public tree plantings and children all over town could be seen coming home from school with saplings for their parents.  Andy and I took a nature walk to see the deep purple irises that bloom for about 2 weeks a year in a field above the seaside cliffs north of Herzliah.  We walked a circular path lined with irises, cyclamens and other wild flowers with spectacular views of the Mediterranean below.

Not a bad day at all.

 Shabbat was relaxing and we finished it off with a Tu B’Shvat get­­-together with one of the other synagogues in the neighborhood.

 Then Shabbat ended.  Then the trouble began.

I needed to write a letter to a community leader and while I know his English excellent, I still believed it was important to write the letter in Hebrew as it concerned a local matter. I felt fairly confident that I could communicate my concerns intelligently.  Honestly, the little arrogant part of my brain was tempted to send the e-mail before having Jonah review it (Rina was not home). Thank G-d I resisted.

 Jonah sat down to read my note, and while making a few small grammatical corrections, didn’t seem to change much. “Hah,” I thought¸ “I don’t really need him. My Hebrew is just fine.”  Whoa, not so fast, Onnie. Just a few moments later I heard Jonah shout in between uncontrollable laughter, “Mom, YOU CANNOT SAY THAT!!”  “Why not?” I questioned.  I’m just explaining that we need to provide women ….  Well, there’s a difference between providing something for women and just providing women and, well¸ I innocently suggesting the latter. I’ve never thought of being a madam as a serious career choice but we just got a notice saying the shul needs more money.  Maybe I’ve hit on a new fundraising technique?  Hey, give me points for originality.

 OK, so one of my children has had yet another laugh at my expense.  It won’t be the last.

And so, Sunday morning rolls around and now it’s time for a little postal humiliation.  Now I know that in the States, people probably don’t go to the post office all that much.  Between e-mail and the ability to pay bills on line, there probably isn’t much reason to go unless you want to make sure that your anti-social neighbors aren’t posted on a “Most Wanted” bulletin board.  But here, the post office seems to be the government’s idea of miscellaneous heaven.  All the services that they didn’t know where to put they just cram into one place thus maximizing the chances of improving your four-letter vocabulary as you wait once again to

1. Register for health insurance
2. Pay your TV tax
3. Pay a parking ticket
4. Renew your license
5. Mail a package (usually the least likely reason for showing up)

So I had to go to the post office to renew Jonah’s license and mail an inexpensive but fragile item.

The conversation went something like this.

Onnie:  “Can you please put a “Fragile” sticker on the box?”

Clerk:  “We don’t take responsibility for fragile items!” she responds incredulously.

Onnie:  “No, I don’t want you to take responsibility for it.  I just want you to put a sticker on it.”

Clerk “But we can’t take responsibility for it!” her voice increasing in intensity.

Onnie: “Fine.” At this point I’m so frustrated that I’m ready to break the plate inside.

Clerk: That will be 37 shekels.  She takes the box, sticks TWO “fragile” stickers on it and sends the box on its way.

But wait, there’s more.  I have the form for renewing Jonah’s license.  I know I should have been ashamed to show it but show it I did.

Post Office Insanity:  Round II

Onnie: “I’m sorry, I know this form is dirty but I need to hand it in to renew my son’s driver’s license.”

Clerk:  “It’s dirty.”  Did she not just hear me that I apologized that it was dirty?

Onnie:  Yes, I know.  My son was in the tank all week.  His stuff is all dusty.

Clerk:  “But it’s dirty!”

 I guess I’m supposed to snap my fingers and make another clean copy magically appear.

Onnie: (trying to keep the steam inside my ears) “Yes, I know.  My son was in his tank all week.  I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do about it.

Clerk: OK, that’ll be 208 shekels.  I hand over exact change.  Must have been the best thing that happened to the teller all day because next thing she said was:

“Oh, your son’s in tanks?  How’s he doing?

I really have to learn to drink!!!

Artist and Teacher

Attached is a link to an article I wrote for The Jerusalem Post about Yitzchak Pugacz, a 90-year-old artist who lives in Jerusalem  He was head of the painting department for the Bezalel Academy of Art and knew Golda Meir, Moshe Dayan and others as friends as well as builders of a new country.

Enjoy!

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1263147944408&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Brit Olam – The International Israeli-Jewish Volunteer Movement

One of the doctors in my community will be leaving Israel shortly to help survivors in Haiti.  He is a member of a relief organization called Brit Olam .  Professionals affiliated with this organization have helped people in Darfur, Indonesia after the 2004 Tsunami, East Congo and many other places ravaged by natural and manmade disasters  If you would like to learn more about the organization or make a donation, check out their web site at www.britolam.org

Brit Olam ברית עולם –The International Israeli Jewish Volunteer Movement

Donating to Relief Efforts in Haiti

All of us want to do something to help the survivors of the devastating earthquake in Haiti.

For Israelis wanting to make shekel-based donations to relief efforts in Haiti, below is a partial list of organizations that have already set up relief funds

For donation’s through Israel’s Foreign Ministry, call 02-6594222.

The Israeli ZAKA organization already has a rescue team in Haiti. You can visit the ZAKA website www.zaka.org.il  Alternatively, you can send money directly to the ZAKA Haiti Fund account: Zaka-International Bank of Jerusalem Branch # 3018 Keren Hayesod, Jerusalem, IsraelAccount No: 300060134Swift Code: JERSILIT

Magen David Adom has also sent rescue teams to Haiti and have opened a bank account to collect money for the earthquake victims. Magen David Adom Trumot Lakaribim, Israel Discount Bank Branch # 151Yad Eliahu, Tel Aviv Account No: 17926    www.mdais.org

Please do what you can.

Thank You Dan and Saul

I recently finished Dan Senor and Saul Singer’s book, “Start-Up Nation:  The Story of Israel’s Economic Miracle”.  The book asks, and then answers, why and how a country has become such a high-tech giant despite its young age and continuous security threats.  These two prolific writers recount stories of  how the tenacity and chutzpah of the Israeli branches of American giants such as Intel, Microsoft and IBM Israel had a profound effect not only on their parent companies but also on the global economy.  It’s exciting to learn about the achievements of companies that we drive by almost daily.  Through the authors’ interviews,  tech nerds have been transformed into nation builders and the IDF into a source of possibilities and not just a burden.

Though maybe not intended, this book is a boon for immigrant soldiers and their families.  When we think of immigrants, we think of desperate people trying to escape economic hardship, likely persecution, or both.  Israel has welcomed literally more tha a million immigrants like these, may of whom came with little more than the clothes on their back.  But Israel has welcomed a different type of immigrant, one not as familiar to most countries in the world.  There were and are Jews in France, North America, England, South Africa and Australia who have enjoyed elite educations, employment in top firms and homes in upper-middle class neighborhoods with access to the finest public schools and medical care.  Yet for these dreamers, they didn’t really “make it” until they had succeeded as the newest link in the modern Jewish homeland.  Although they had “everything”, they still wanted more.

Downsizing, learning a new language, building a new social network: that’s the easy part.  Well maybe those are not easy steps but they’re still not the most difficult part of but the aliyah experience.  Convincing the children that their futures have not been destroyed by the move; well, that’s more complicated but that is precisely what this book accomplishes.  Many Western immigrant children are the products of parents educated by some of the world’s top acacdemic istitutions.  Convincing children that a successful career does not necessarily hinge on Oxford, Yale or the Sorbonne is not easy.

For sure,  I as an Israeli I’m reading this book with a more critical eye.  I see, first hand, the challenges families face when one parent must traverse the ocean several times a year to recruit investors (since Rina and Jonah were pretty much all grown up by the time Andy ventured into the start-up world,  there are no family references in that last statement).  I see the challenges children face here if they do not excel in the maths or sciences.  But despite the toll of high-tech on Israel’s social fabric, there is no doubt that today’s immigrant children, some of who are the products of parents educated in the most elite universities i the world,  can learn that living here offers a thousand different ways to succeed in today’s world.

While parts of the army experience are still hellish for soldiers and their families, there’s no doubt that it  is a breeding ground for creativity anda resourcefulness that you can’t learn in a classroom.  I see how Jonah approaches problems now as opposed to just a few years ago.  Today a problem is rarely “a problem” it’s more of just an unexpected annoyance that needs a quick work-around.    As a tank commander, he’s developed the leadership skills in 18 months that most people don’t acquire until their 30s. And although Rina is only in the paperwork (although an ENORMOUS amount of paperwork) stage of her army career, she too is quickly learning to evaluate and navigate competing demands.  Most people in other countries do not have to encounter situations like these until their mid or late twenties.  And, because of the compulsory military service here,  people develop a sense of responsibility that most people never experience. Despite the frustrations, demands and heartache of army service, I think, and the book emphasizes, there is immeasurable value in protecting the country’s future before  embarking on your own.  As the old adage goes, “there is no free ride.”

So while Start-Up Nation is an inspiring read no matter where you live, the message it is sending to young Israelis, particularly young immigrant Israelis is one I hope they hear again and again.  This is not always the easiest place to live.  The demands are tough but the possibilities are endless.

Shabbat shalom,

Onnie

Remarkably Unremarkable: A Year Later in Sderot

A Homemade Sign

A Peaceful Atmosphere

Today,  Thursday December 31, 2009, the Gaza Freedom March is scheduled to take place in Egypt to protest Israel’s Operation Cast Lead “siege” which took place exactly one year ago.  Meanwhile, Israelis organized the Sderot Rally for Hope.  Organizers thought long and hard about how to mark the occasion.  For 8 long years, Sderot residents lived (if you could call it living) under a siege atmosphere  They would run outside just long enough to pick up groceries and then hurry back home before the code red sirens blared. They’re ominous cry meant that people had just 15 seconds to find shelter before an incoming missile exploded. For  8 years life stood still, but a year after Israel ended Gaza’s rocket barrages, life in Sderot was finally returning back to normal.  But how to commemorate the emergence of normal living without praising the spilling of Palestinian blood? The decision was not an easy one.

Much had been made of how difficult life had been , particularly for children who could not remember the last time they had been allowed to play outside.  Playgrounds left children vulnerable to incoming Kassams so they were deserted.  If much had been made of the children’s suffering, than maybe the focal point of the commemorations should focus on just how far they, in particular, have come in one short year.

Community organizers had a wonderful idea.  Let Sderot school children write notes of peace and send them to Palestinian children living just a few kilometers west in Gaza.  Give Israeli children an opportunity to focus on a future peace than on a fear-filled past. Let them draw pictures and acknowledge just how hard is for children on both sides of the conflict.  What a great idea!  Simple, inexpensive, and easy to execute.  Just one problem.  The Gaza borders are sealed.  How to get the message across? 

If the dialogue was to be between children, then the delivery system had to be child-friendly.  Balloons.  Again; simple, inexpensive and not labor- intensive.  So, the children’s drawings and notes were attached to hundreds of white balloons.  And that is how the Sderot Rally for Peace got started.

Though not the most glamorous starting point, we all gathered outside the Route 34 Delek gas station just outside the entrance to the city.  College students here on a WUJS program (World Union of Jewish Students), came together with American seminary students, community activists and Sderot families. We were joined by Sderot Mayor David Buskila, Israel Minister of Public Diplomacy and Diaspora Affairs Yuli Edelstein and, believe it or not,  Former Member of Zambian Parliament and 2011 Zambian Presidential candidate, Hon. Dr. Saviour Chishimba.

Singing and cheering, we trudged along a muddy path to the crest of a hill just outside the town that overlooks Gaza in the distance.  On a small plaza dotted with memorials to people killed by terrorists, all three dignitaries delivered mercifully short speeches repeating Israel’s desire for peace for all children. Then, the white balloons with notes attached were released.  And,  at that moment the Yiddish expression, “Man plans and G-d laughs” popped into my head.  For though the balloons were meant to sail westward, the prevailing winds blew them back east in the direction of  Sderot. If only we’d had Horace Greeley with us.  He would have sent them to the right destination.  Oh well, I guess the old adage, “it’s the thought that counts” was coined for just such occasions.

I went back into Sderot proper thinking I would take pictures in the same spots I had a year ago when every fence was covered with pleas to end the daily incursion of rockets.   I took the pictures but to be blunt, they’re boring.   Really boring. A picture of some people walking down the street  Kids playing in a park.  An ad for a Moroccan night celebration.   Except that a year ago, nobody would have been meandering on the street or hanging out in the park.  nobody would have been planning large community celebrations. But it is today’s unremarkable rhythm, the undetectable white noise of daily living, that made today’s scenes in Sderot anything but ordinary.

It’s a Sufganiya, Onnie

Sufganiyot for Sale at the Local Mall

A neighbor’s menorah is big enough for everyone to enjoy

A neighbor makes sure that everyone can see the Chanukia

Sufganiyot for Sale at the Local Mall

My Grandma Bea was an old-fashioned baker.  Only sweet, creamy butter in her famous brown-sugar cookies.  When I foolishly pointed out the dangers of her high-fat baked goods. she turned to me, squinted her eyes and stated the obvious:  ” Onnie, it’s a cookie!”

I thought of my Grandma Bea on Friday.  Doing errands on Achuza Friday morning, I navigated passed the throngs of people shoving their way to the front of  lines outside every bakery  trying to snag their children’s favorite filled sufganiyot (donuts) for the first night of Chanuka.  One chain bragged that, in addition to the traditional fried-dough varieties they also offered a healthier baked alternative.  “Baked?”, I asked incredulously.  A healthy sufganiya?  What has Raanana come to?

Well, I am happy to report that the healthy Chanuka fare is an anomoly.  Stopping by a friend’s house last night for a neighborhood community lighting, I could smell the frying of latkes from the other end of the block.  There was nothing low-fat about the jelly and chocolate cream dripping from the chins of children hopped on enough sugar to make their parents wonder if kiddie Valium really was such a bad idea.

My Moroccan friend actually made her own sufganiyot  (As I told some relatives, I think Moroccan women start cooking in the womb).  Topped with a generous sprinkling of powdered sugar, these sufganiyot were warm and golden but, thankfully, would not be awarded Weight Watchers approval anytime soon.

Waiting to have my cell phone repaired,  Orange (local cell phone provider) was handing out free sufganiyot. While garishly covered with orange (what else?) icing, I have scientific proof that they were not fat free: the oil remaining on the napkins could heat a small apartment building for a month!

Avoiding an obvious conflict of interest, the municipal pool is not offering sufganiyot.  However, if you happen to be swimming laps at 6:00 PM this week, you can enjoy candle lighting from the comfort of your own Speedo.

And the mall?  First you have to pull your eyes away from the Chanukiyot resting on every counter and lighting up every store front.  Of course, if you do that you’ll notice the myriad of free shows and activities crowding the main corridors. The  dough-making class offered for young children was not only calorie-laden, but based on the number of kids licking their fingers in between each step, I already know the source of any future town epidemics.

So my blood sugar and cholesterol levels may be stratospheric by the week’s end. I might not be able to zip up my pants or close my skirt, but remember, “It’s a sufganiya!”

The New Settlement Freeze Leaves Everyone Out in the Cold

It’s been more than a week since Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu unilaterally announced a 10 month settlement freeze on all new construction in the West Bank.  It sounds like a concrete positive first step towards renewed negotiations. But President Obama may be the only winner here because, as far as I can tell, Israelis and Palestinians have nothing to gain from this strategy.

Facts on the ground – Sitting 25 miles east of  Tel Aviv and 37 miles northwest of Jerusalem, the West Bank town of Ariel was founded in 1978 and is now home to approximately 17,000 people.  It is an academic community where many are employed at the College of Judah and Samaria which  enjoys an annual enrollment of approximately 8,500 Jewish and  Muslim students.*  The town is predominantly secular and offers affordable housing to Russian immigrants as well as young families just starting out.  For example, for a young family can buy a 4 bedroom cottage with a garden there for $220,000.  The same house, 23 miles west in Kfar Saba would cost $600,000 and $800,00 in Kfar Saba’s western neighbor, Raanana.  The perimeter of Ariel is lined with caravans filled with young families waiting to move into permanent housing.  They are not radicals nor fanatics; just young families looking for inexpensive housing in a community with good schools pleasant playgrounds. These families, many of whom already have already applied and received necessary housing permits, are stuck.  For the next 10 months, their lives are on hold  And in reality, that 10 month wait will stretch into 12 to 14 months as the freeze is set to expire as the rainy season begins.  Thousands of lives will now be put in a holding pattern with no clear benefit.

The town of Eli,  while lying only 8 kilometers to the southeast of Ariel is quite different.  With a population of 2,500, it is much smaller.  It was founded in 1984 and after 25 years has a population of just 2,500 people.  While not exclusively, it is made up predominantly of religious families who, having served in the army and completed university studies, enjoy living in a community that is quiet and close-knit while still allowing for comfortable commutes to the employment centers of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.  Religiously committed to having large families, many people here would like to stay in the community but need to build a bigger home to accommodate their expanding families.  Eli is pretty and inexpensive, but now people who have been living in the same community for years cannot move to more comfortable quarters in their own town.  These are not people on the government dole.  These are people with jobs who pay their bills. They give back to the community and their country and, like most of us, just need more room for their growing families.  But, like their neighbors up the road in Ariel, they are also stuck.

And, what about the Palestinians?  Isn’t this good for them?  Won’t this give them a chance to advance their cause?  Doubt it.  They have the most to lose.  Why?  Well, first of all, who are the construction workers building all of these houses in Jewish towns throughout Judah and Samaria? They are Palestinian day laborers who, while not earning large or steady salaries, do benefit from the employment opportunities associated with West Bank construction.  For the next 10 months, their ability to feed their families has been seriously curtailed.  Well, maybe even that would be tolerable if Palestinian leadership looked at the freeze as a step toward meaningful dialogue to begin resolution of the dispute.  But that’s not happening.

Palestinian Chief Negotiator Saeb Erekat sees the move as meaningless.  Because Israel has declared that the 3,000 buildings already under construction, may be completed, he does not see any value in a move to stop new construction for the better part of a year.  President Mahmoud Abbas does not recognize the value of this move because negotiation on the status of Jerusalem is still seen as a non-starter by Israelis.  Apparently it’s all or nothing.

All or nothing.  Israel tried that once recently in Gaza and we all know how peacefully that turned out.  So, now we have Israelis with building permits with no possibility of building who are becoming increasingly defiant of a government that has betrayed them. More Palestinians are likely to now be unemployed and once again we see that the current Palestinian leadership would rather increase poverty than the chances for a real homeland.

So, who wins?  Well Obama can use this to argue he has successfully advanced the cause of peace when he accepts his Nobel Prize this Thursday, but with 30,000 more troops poised to be deployed in Afghanistan, even for Obama, this freeze seems meaningless.

* http://www.cbs.gov.il/population/new_2009/table3.pdf

Haya Mashehu Mashehu – the Alyn Hospital Wheels of Love Closing Ceremony

Enjoying a Jerusalem Sunset

Enjoying the Scenery in Northern Israel

Alyn Hospital’s Wheels of Love Closing Ceremony

Alyn Children at the 10th Wheels of Love Closing Ceremony

There’s a Hebrew expression, “haya mashehu mashehu” which literally translates as, “it was something something” to describe an extraordinary event.  It was used by an elderly man sitting next to me yesterday to describe the closing ceremony of the Alyn Hospital’s 10^th Wheels of Love charity bike ride.  Before I continue, I must admit my bias.  While I have been a supporter of Alyn riders before, this was the first year that Andy was participating.  After 25 years of marriage, it’s extraordinary to see you spouse prepare for a physical and mental challenge that would be daunting to so many people.

 But, in spite, or in addition to, my pride, I was so moved by the children of Alyn, the staff who clearly love the people they help and the more than 500 riders from 8 countries* who overcame winter cold, winds, fog, rain, hail and an overabundance of mud through 1,800 meter climbs during the past week to raise more than $1.6 million for the hospital.

 Alyn sits on a hill overlooking the tree-covered hills of Jerusalem’s Ein Kerem neighborhood.  The normally quiet street was anything but as hundreds of well-wishers lined it to cheer on the riders as they finished the last 42 kilometers of their journey.  Children waved signs (My favorite was one that read, “MY ABBA IS A WHEELY WHEELY GREAT GUY” with a picture of a bicycle underneath) and music blasted over the loudspeakers.  Camera shutters clicked and people shrieked as they recognized their mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa or friend pedaling the final sweaty and emotional meters across the finish line.

 On the grounds itself, children pushed themselves in wheelchairs over to food tables to enjoy hamburgers, hotdogs, cotton candy and popcorn. A clown on stilts entertained children with crutches while another delighted toddlers with bubbles, bubbles and more bubbles.  A group of drummers invited patients into a drum circle where they slapped darbukas (like a large bongo) while sporting enormous smiles.

Jews, Muslims. Sabras (native born Israelis), Olim (immigrants) took seats on bleachers as the children of Alyn, live, and on video, took center stage.  Nir Barakat, current Jerusalem mayor and former Alyn participant, sent video greetings from New York and the whole place was filled with such tremendous energy that it felt like the cheering never stopped.  But despite a series of speeches which maybe went on a little too long, the sense of purpose, the knowledge that this ride was special shone through during the entire ceremony.

 As the ceremony came to a close and we all stood to sing Hatikva (our national anthem) while witnessing a beautiful sunset over the Jerusalem hills, I felt so proud of all of the people; staff, riders (many of whom sacrificed precious vacation time and frequent flyer miles) organizers, donors and the dads who drove carpool while their wives cycled for the cause who gave of their time and money to improve the quality of life for every patient that has to come through Alyn’s doors  The fact that all of this was done in Israel makes me prouder still.

Shabbat shalom

*Riders represented Israel, U.S.A., Canada, South Africa, England, France, Belgium, Holland and Sweden. Another 150 riders joined the group for the ride from Modiin to Jerusalem so that 650 people actually crossed the finish line

If You Want to Lead, Lead

Today’s Jerusalem Post featured an article about how the ”pro-Israel” lobby J Street’s university arm has dropped  the “pro-Israel” portion of its “pro-Israel, pro-peace”  slogan because it alienates students on campus.  ( http://tinyurl.com/jstreetdropspro-israel-com).   J Street’s executive director Jeremy Ben-Ami’s defends this move by arguing that ” we have to deal with people where they’re at” 

 Mr. Ben Ami’s cowardly retreat is tantamount to failure.  As the leader of the “hottest” new Jewish organization,  his job is to give college students the tools to show that being pro-Israel and pro-peace are not diametrically opposed positions. If J Street believes that a 2-State solution is the best hope for peace in the region, they’re entitled to their beliefs.  But to condone dropping the words “pro-Israel” from campus material  gives our future leaders the impression that you cannot support Israel and support a peaceful resolution to regional disputes.

I attended a liberal arts college that had a small “Young Republicans” club on campus.  Being a Republican on a New York college campus in the late 70s and early 80s was not a popular affiliation.  However, its members did not change their name  to just “Young” or “Young People with an Alternative World View’”.  They called themselves Young Republicans because that’s who they were and, through activities and literature which they saw as moral and right, tried to attract more members.

J Street enters an implicit contract every time it recruits a new student member. You help us promote our Israel position on college campuses and we’ll give you the tools to do so.  The organization has not lived up to its side of the deal and, if they really want to promote their agenda, they need to decide if they are going to do what is popular or what is right.