I hope that everyone is well
I know it’s been a long time. No excuses. I don’t have any. But I can offer a bit of explanation. In October, the rational part of brain was taken hostage and, in a moment of temporary insanity, I returned to school to earn an Israeli tour guide license. I’m not sure why I thought that age 49 was a good time to devote a good chunk of time studying in a language that I still manage to butcher daily (I mix gender-endings so often that even Netanyahu is starting to question his sexual identity) but it’s a decision I’m usually happy that I made. I’ve met the most wonderful people, none of whom I would have had the opportunity to meet if it were not the class. I can now include a Jewish man born in India, a pony-tailed man hailing from Mexico, a psychologist from Germany, and a remarkably bright theology student among my friends. We are a microcosm of modern-day Israel. If I get to class early, I’m privy to a cacophony of cell phone conversations in Portuguese, Russian, Ukrainian, Spanish, Italian, German and Hebrew.
Still, every class is a struggle. At 49, I’m glad that I remember my own children’s names. Seriously, is there any room for remembering who was the second Muslim caliph? Well, there will have to be. But despite returning to a world of tests and papers, I wouldn’t sacrifice the relationships I’ve made for anything.
But in returning to school, I’ve dropped an important responsibility. I’ve put the blog on hold. At first I thought, “I can’t continue the blog. I’m working. I’m in school. I have other responsibilities.” Then, as multiple Arab states were literally going up in flames around us, I tried to write but was terrified of returning to the task. I cannot tell you the number of times I have sat down to write only to get up, “just for a minute”, call a friend, run a quick errand or start dinner. Anything to avoid facing the flashing cursor.
And then, of course, there were the joyous occasions I wanted to share. Just last week, in preparation for the Jewish holiday of Shavuot which commemorates receiving the 10 commandments, our local school, with the help of some very good-natured parents, converted the local school yard into Mount Sinai complete with a bearded Moses receiving the 10 commandments while the Jewish nation (who coincidentally resembled a lot of my neighbors’ children) “quaked in fear” below. A few weeks earlier, the mayor cycled his way around town wishing everyone a happy Passover holiday. But still, the writing terrified me and stuck I was. Good things or bad things; for the first time in a very long time, I couldn’t share.
But recently, the fear has abated. Why? I have some ideas but am not completely sure. Maybe I am slowly (VERY SLOWLY) learning to balance the whole school-work challenge. Maybe the class isn’t as scary as it was. Or maybe, it’s a little of both and something else. I’m hoping that the something else is enough to prevent me from sliding back. What is the mystery ingredient? It’s simple
Gratitude. Grateful that we (Israelis) haven’t let the cyclones on every border destroy our quality of life. Grateful that I live in a country where I see that the remains of 6th century Byzantine churches and 8th century mosques are accorded the same respect and value as ancient synagogues. On my first trip here in 1978, it didn’t seem like such a big deal. Last week, traveling in the Golan just kilometers from the Syrian border, it seemed like a very big deal. And, on a very personal note, while grateful that Jonah is to be discharged in seven weeks, knowing that he wore and Rina is now wearing) the IDF uniform with pride.
So, I hope you’ll accept a very heartfelt apology and know that, while not daily, the letters/blog entries will be coming at a regular pace again.
Shabbat shalom
Onnie
